Amongst all your angst over the break up, a big part of you still want her back, but let’s stop for a minute and look at whether you “should” have her back to begin with.
Relationships can be beautiful and nice but that’s only one side of the coin. Often the flipside to your relationship dominates just as strongly but if you choose not to see it, it will apparently “cease” to exist. Let’s lay out the truth flat and open your eyes to the reality of the situation.
Sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that aren’t exactly the “best” match for us. Whether it means she is completely goal orientated with success and dollar signs in her eyes, or you’re more of a family guy who could care less as long as you have 5 toddlers around you, you need to see that some partners clash a great deal more than they should.
While we get caught up in the niceness of the honeymoon stage, we’re rather short-sighted and lack the ability to see too far into the future. But now that you’re “awake”, you can seek out the truth a little better.
What sort of girls should you absolutely AVOID?
There are some girls who are not worth the trouble getting back with no matter how “compatible” other areas of the relationship may be.
Who might they be? Girls who cheat regularly, girls who aren’t mature enough to handle a long-term committed relationship, girls who go through guys like they’re pairs of shoes and girls who play the game of hot and cold. You get the drift. The kind that doesn’t appear like they would settle down due to their track record, no matter what they may have said or acted with you!
Though it’s obvious to the rest of us not in the relationship, you might see things differently. This is where you need to be straight and honest with yourself. Do you deserve to be treated the way she has treated you? Would YOU do what she did to you? Do you feel that she treats you better than she treats herself and did your needs always come before hers?
That voice in your head that screams you’re making a mistake is not to be ignored, but only you can determine what you want and what is right for you.
Follow that voice but listen to your heart also. It’s best to take your time and put yourself in other environments (work or otherwise) to gain that objective perspective you need to answer this question honestly.
Want a proven step-by-step solution to get your ex girlfriend back quickly?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey i’m not sure weather or not this is worth pursuing. So I got the book. And sent her the initial contact note. We went out for 11 months split up 2 months ago I made a couple of the classic mistakes trying to reconsile immediately after the break up and haven’t really spoken since then other than to arrange sending stuff back to each other etc. It should be noted during the break up she was pretty abusive and rude. So I got a reply and 2 txts
“If I get another contact like this I’m going to the police.
I don’t want ANYTHING to do with you.
WHAT THE HELL about that can’t you understand?
GET OUT OF MY LIFE.”
And then 2 txts saying “Listen idiot. I don’t care what you are doing. I do not want contact. F**k off and get out of my life!!!” and “I hate you and your pathetic attempts to remain in my life. Stop f**king emailing me. I don’t give a sh*t about youand the idea of you ever being near my person again makes me sick. Just f**k off”
It sounds insane but I still have feelings for her. She’s always had a temper so I don’t know what it means. She broke up with me a couple times in the past but always sorted it in a day or two. Her method of breaking up with me was a mixture of “the coward” and “the argumentative” She also said how her life was so much better after only one day of breaking up.
Chris, I think you’re better of cutting your losses there. Don’t you think you deserve better than what you are getting?
I just broke up with my girlfriend and did the crying and begging to give me ! Second chance. We were arguing for two months before she dumped me. We dated for. A year and a half. She’s says that she is happy and content with her decision to breakup with me. She is showing no emotion and says that she don’t think well ever get back together. It’s been a week and a half since we broke up and I just can’t stop thinking about how much I want her back. I read the ex recovery system and sent the contact letter this morning on my way to a *on interview. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Brian
Brian, I’m in a similar boat as you. What I did to try to help myself was think about the arguments from her perspective and then try to change that problem inside myself. I don’t know how well this will work because I haven’t tried it yet, but I’m going to try to get back with my ex while keeping those things I changed from reverting back again. As far as not thinking about her, I have no solutions because I’m having the same issue. If anyone else has a solution or anything that will help please say something.
My wife has depression and has been a poor communicator since the beginning. She’s accused me of messing around for four years now, which I never did.
She can be highly critical, but that mostly stems from her own insecurities. I ask myself if it is worth the effort, but we’ve been married eight years and have two children. I am a devoted father and husband. I think she is being absolutely selfish and putting herself before the kids.
Because she can’t effectively love herself, she thinks that we have been in a loveless marriage and has gotten involved with a new guy.
She doesn’t see everything I have done for the household and my dedication. I feel so unappreciated and disrespected. I oscillate between love and hate with her.
I don’t know what to do.
We must think first if we really want our ex back because sometimes it is not love that motivates us, it is our dignity and oftentimes what others say.
We must follow our heart but listen to our mind. Weigh the situation first then make a wise decision.